When I connect my watch to garmin connect the activities on the watch are deleted and nothing gets transferred. This is the whole point of the watch and it is useless to me if this can't be fixed.

What happens when you sync over the USB cable to a computer with Garmin Express, instead? The same effect, or does it work right then?

A possible reason for such behaviour could be that your device is associated with multiple accounts, and the data lands in the other account. It frequently happens for example when you reinstall the application, and inadvertently sign up a new account instead of signing into the original one. Follow the instructions from the support document Data is Missing from My Garmin Account After Syncing to resolve the issue.

I'd also look at the Sync Audit, and check it for errors and warnings (GCM Menu » Settings » Device Sync Audit)

This is when using garmin express with USB cable.   It seems now that if there is only 1 activity on the watch that it will often transfer correctly.   If there are two or more activities on the watch they all get deleted and nothing is transferred.